engineous | INBOX

[ ongoing - just put a number in the subject line of a top-level comment, or send one of your own! ]

01. I don't know what to tell you. Short of having a shock collar on, you're going to make some bad choices. 02. You're not allowed to drink vodka anymore. You couldn't get your temporary tattoos to stick with water so you used super glue. 03. I need an outfit for tomorrow that reads "I have daddy issues" but also "I am a fancy sugar daddy." 04. I'll start working on my manners outside the bedroom when you stop using "please" and "thank you" inside the bedroom. 05. They're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing. 06. I just gave up on masturbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old. 07. I took out a new life insurance policy Thursday. It's okay, I can die in New Orleans now. 08. And by "have lunch together" you mean blow jobs in the Maserati, right? 09. There is an episode of How It's Made on TV right now. The subjects are tequila and water beds. I'm flashing back to college. 10. You're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth? 11. We really gotta wear super suits to the bar more often... 12. I'm honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10. 13. I woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket. 14. Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face. 15. I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual. 16. Freshly fucked must agree with my hair because I've gotten several compliments on it this afternoon. 17. I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powdered form of boredom. 18. Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter-life crisis real quick. 19. The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side-eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes. 20. I do have a moral compass! I can't help it if it only points at sex and alcohol 21. Can't a man sleep on the floor in his own apartment in peace without being judged? 22. I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper. 23. Please don't ironically join a cult. I'll have to join, too. 24. So are you going to give me road head or are you still being a baby about crashing?

Edited 2022-02-11 16:56 (UTC)

You messaged that you had a new suit for me. Any reason it’s so right below the waist?

[ from here ]

Just teasing you, kid. I want all your input seeing as how it's your suit.

[ from here ]

The chest isn't my first guess, but it does kind of replace a waistcoat. I should start wearing one to every event since we all know subtlety is a boring accessory.

Edited 2019-09-30 14:55 (UTC)

[ from here ]

Is that what's kept you as SI all these years? Entertainment value?

[ from here ]

You’ve Wikied me? You could just ask, you know. Or at least forget you read some of those earlier sections.

06. I just gave up on masturbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.

isn't that why you got yourself a college-aged boyfriend?

[b/c i legit don't have the spoons to make my own post on the meme today]

These long trips you've been taking are really starting to make me miss you.

👀

11. We really gotta wear super suits to the bar more often...

it's kinda the only way we can go out and not get lots of evil judge-y faces

(frozen comment) tfln prompts

feel free to pick a timeline if pre-aou ain’t your style!

tfln overflow for: spideysense

tfln overflow for: cuttingremark

tfln overflow for: bootybootcamp

tfln overflow for: starkinternship

from TFLN prompts - 6

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