[ ongoing - just put a number in the subject line of a top-level comment, or send one of your own! ]
01. I don't know what to tell you. Short of having a shock collar on, you're going to make some bad choices.
02. You're not allowed to drink vodka anymore. You couldn't get your temporary tattoos to stick with water so you used super glue.
03. I need an outfit for tomorrow that reads "I have daddy issues" but also "I am a fancy sugar daddy."
04. I'll start working on my manners outside the bedroom when you stop using "please" and "thank you" inside the bedroom.
05. They're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
06. I just gave up on masturbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
07. I took out a new life insurance policy Thursday. It's okay, I can die in New Orleans now.
08. And by "have lunch together" you mean blow jobs in the Maserati, right?
09. There is an episode of How It's Made on TV right now. The subjects are tequila and water beds. I'm flashing back to college.
10. You're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
11. We really gotta wear super suits to the bar more often...
12. I'm honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
13. I woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket.
14. Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
15. I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual.
16. Freshly fucked must agree with my hair because I've gotten several compliments on it this afternoon.
17. I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powdered form of boredom.
18. Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter-life crisis real quick.
19. The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side-eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes.
20. I do have a moral compass! I can't help it if it only points at sex and alcohol
21. Can't a man sleep on the floor in his own apartment in peace without being judged?
22. I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
23. Please don't ironically join a cult. I'll have to join, too.
24. So are you going to give me road head or are you still being a baby about crashing?
01. I don't know what to tell you. Short of having a shock collar on, you're going to make some bad choices.
02. You're not allowed to drink vodka anymore. You couldn't get your temporary tattoos to stick with water so you used super glue.
03. I need an outfit for tomorrow that reads "I have daddy issues" but also "I am a fancy sugar daddy."
04. I'll start working on my manners outside the bedroom when you stop using "please" and "thank you" inside the bedroom.
05. They're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
06. I just gave up on masturbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
07. I took out a new life insurance policy Thursday. It's okay, I can die in New Orleans now.
08. And by "have lunch together" you mean blow jobs in the Maserati, right?
09. There is an episode of How It's Made on TV right now. The subjects are tequila and water beds. I'm flashing back to college.
10. You're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
11. We really gotta wear super suits to the bar more often...
12. I'm honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
13. I woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket.
14. Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
15. I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual.
16. Freshly fucked must agree with my hair because I've gotten several compliments on it this afternoon.
17. I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powdered form of boredom.
18. Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter-life crisis real quick.
19. The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side-eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes.
20. I do have a moral compass! I can't help it if it only points at sex and alcohol
21. Can't a man sleep on the floor in his own apartment in peace without being judged?
22. I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
23. Please don't ironically join a cult. I'll have to join, too.
24. So are you going to give me road head or are you still being a baby about crashing?
Edited 2022-02-11 16:56 (UTC)
feel free to pick a timeline if pre-aou ain’t your style!
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withoutawar
2019-05-26 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
You messaged that you had a new suit for me. Any reason it’s so right below the waist?
Well, if that isn't an embarrassing text correction...
I can always use upgrades to web shooter capacity! simple things like that. dont realize what I need until using it, you know?
And Thursday night sushi in the dining room.
Really, I'd enjoy working here even without the perks.
Really, I'd enjoy working here even without the perks.
The helm would cover that odd smattering of facial hair you have, but I feel you'd rather have your face uncovered.
multiple might be for the best, easier to switch out small ones
omg... really?
I mean
Indian would be cool
I havent had it in a while
omg... really?
I mean
Indian would be cool
I havent had it in a while
Oh, so you don't cut it in that odd shape to conceal the fact that you can't actually grow a full beard?
Male or female models? Diversity in the workplace is important.
*Maybe.*
*Maybe.*
We'll definitely come up with more to do to stretch out the day :)
a little bit of everything!!
with extra naan bread
a little bit of everything!!
with extra naan bread
I find it hard to believe that many humans have such bad taste.
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